Dating for Success: 5 Common Dating Myths

Like urban legend, these sound like they make a lot of sense but they are not true.

Myth # 1: The smartest and prettiest women get married first.

A woman/man who is more accomplished or attractive may receive more dates than some of her/his friends, but that doesn’t mean she will meet the right person sooner than anyone else.

Myth # 2: If you date a long time you must know what you are doing.

Someone who has been dating for a long time may feel she/he has become an expert. However, she/he has been dating so long without meeting the right person, it could be that her/his dating repertoire isn’t that effective. She/he may benefit from learning different strategies.

Myth # 3: If things don’t click on the first date, then we are probably not right for each other.

Relationships take time to develop. Many relationships start off with daters feeling neutral about each other, and it takes a few more meetings for them to feel they are starting to connect. It is impossible for two people to know they are right for each other the first time they meet. However, if you realize any of the following, it’s good indication you are not well suited for each other. You want very different things out of life. You don’t have compatible values and goals. You have strong distaste for your date’s personality or appearance. It is very difficult for you to sit through the date because you are so different.

Myth #4: First impressions are always correct.

People are not always themselves when they meet someone new. Someone who is slow to warm up, may be more comfortable on a second or third date. Another person can be charming at first, but over time reveal to be controlling, selfish or rude. And there are normal mistakes people make and feel embarrassed later – putting their foot in their mouth, talking too quickly or too much, or trying too hard to impress the other person. Their real essence may take time to come thru.

Myth # 5: If we date longer, the qualities that bother me about the other person will work themselves out.

No courtship is completely smooth. However if something bothers you about your date and you can’t come to terms with it or work it out at an early point of courtship, you probably won’t be able to do so no matter how long you date. When the right person comes along the major issues will either not be present or will get resolved relatively soon and the courtship will be much smoother.